I realize that lately I've been feeling a little sorry for myself. I feel as though I have no time for myself and that I'm always at the mercy of others and, more importantly, others' moods... and it's actually all true.... I have very little time to myself and I am responsible for the happiness of 4 kids, a husband and 2 dogs (we have my parents' dog for the winter). Absolutely nothing has changed in my life to bring about these feelings as I've been doing this routine for, oh, almost 17 years.......but the more I think about it, the more I believe that I am trying to "convince" myself that I deserve to go back to school. It's crazy, isn't it?!!? I mean, OF COURSE I deserve to go to school.....everyone deserves to learn and choose a career path! Right????
Now, it's no secret that my career path has taken a few detours and faced some roadblocks. I will forever be amazed by my husband's ability to work at the same company for 15 years....I came to the realization, LONG AGO, that I need a lot of variety in all aspects of my life to feel vibrant and alive. I'm sure that's why I ended up with 4 kids! (well, that and a stud-ly husband!) I really believe that everything happens for a reason and that we are creators of our own destiny by the choices we make...this is particularily good thing for my brother, who fired me in August....and I believe that I was forced to make some tough decisions when he let me go. Decisions about my career, my family, myself.
Decisions that I had been avoiding.
So, for me, 2009 signals the end of my pity party. A party at which I was the guest of honour for the last 4 months; where I drank and ate and complained.
This is the beginning of Joanne.
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