No news is good news!

Things here have been humming along quite nicely without too many bumps...it's hard to blog when there's no drama, so I'm going to just give a few updates:

1) Eric is going to Ireland (again.) the week I start classes and I'm nervous about getting to and from school within the daycare hours.

2) Brandon has adopted his father's attitude due to spending a week with him over the Christmas holidays and yesterday I told him that I divorced his dad in large part due to that very attitude so he'd better lose it or lose his happy home.

3) Emma has changed her eating habits and is enjoying a 2 lb weight loss. She works every week, but we're pretty sure she is NOT saving any money for her trip in March.

4) Kristen has developed an addiction to her Nintendo DS. If we don't take it away, she will sit and play it aaaalllll day! On one hand, it's great because she's doing a lot of reading, on the other hand, she's already a great reader so she doesn't need the practice. I was thinking about finding a math game.....

5) Sam is having a hard time going all night without peeing the bed. In fact, he's only done it once... so, he is still wearing Goodnights. Today he is going to his little buddy's birthday party at Tumbletots. He's VERY excited and we're doing the last- minute gift-dash today.

6) I am continuing to focus on losing weight and exercising. I'm pretty sure I've almost rid my body of the sugar cravings, but if I even touched something sweet right now I wouldn't be able to stop myself from bingeing. I almost liken this addiction to the one I have with cigarettes; even to this day, if I decided to smoke just one I would be a full-blown smoker in no time!

7) Jewel is not fighting her addiction to the couch.

8) Cindy hangs around here like she's lived here all her life.

And finally, I will attach a couple of pictures of Eric and Sam putting together the new bookshelf from Ikea yesterday and picture of Eric enjoying his Sunday morning coffee today.

Sorry for the boring post, but I'm sure it won't be long before there's more drama to talk about.

Too good to be true?

I was just starting to feel pretty good about going back to school- my courses are paid for, I've talked to the college to make sure everything is ok and I have the kids signed up for daycare starting on February 2nd... then this morning I heard on the news that there's a pretty good chance that the elementary school teachers may go on strike after the March Break. It's really going to suck if that happens....I'm not sure what my plan will look like if that happens. It's not like my mom is here to help out with the kids (like, out of love, for FREE) and daycare is bloody expensive! I guess I'll just have to cross my fingers and toes that the teachers get what they want and I won't have to deal with that.

Speaking of the March Break- I have been busy making plans for Emma and Brandon so I can fulfill my New Year's Resolution to get them out of the house more often, for longer periods of time.....Emma's going on a cruise and it looks like Brandon will be going to Miami!! You know what that means? At least 7 evenings alone for Eric and I. Seven evenings of no phone ringing, no computer keyboard tapping, no driving anyone, no Cadets, no saxophone/piano/guitar playing and NO FIGHTING! It's the best March Break I could ask for!!

On a positive note, I have lost 3 lbs so far. Yaaaaayyy!

Maybe it's in the DNA??

Well, it's no secret that have struggled with Brandon's inability to pay attention in school. It started in grade 1 when he had to participate in the reading recovery program because he was not capable of sitting and learning to read. In grade 3, a teacher put a desk with 3 sides (like blinders) in the back corner of her classroom and Brandon was forced to sit at it. Parent/teacher conferences, interventions, meetings, oh my! By the time he reached grade 8, Eric and I were pulling our hair out!!!!

Bad news for us- looks like Kristen has a similar problem.

Her teacher has mentioned that she's often "in her own little world, because she's so smart!" (anchoring the negative with a positive) and that she does have a hard time sitting in circle-time without fidgeting. We weren't surprised....after all, we have suffered through movies, concerts, long drives with her... but last night something different happened- In her agenda was a note from her teacher,

"Kristen is having a hard time with subtraction. Please practice at home."

WTF?!!? KRISTEN? KRISTEN is having a hard time at school?????!!!!!???? Kristen is our free-spirited, confident, outspoken, over-achieving one....how could she be having a hard time at anything?

So, after my initial shock at the note, we sat down and did some subtraction. An entire page, actually. Sometimes she needed her fingers, sometimes she tried to visualize it...but she got every question right. So, I asked her...."Kristen, are you having a hard time with subtraction?" to which she replied, "Well.....sometimes I have a hard time seeing the numbers in my head because of the noise. Even when I wear the headphones I can still hear the noise." Now I'm confused. So I asked her...."What headphones?"and she said, "The headphones that Mrs. Lee gave me to cut out the noise." Hmmmm.....I suddenly had a wicked case of deja vu....it's grade 1 and it's a different kid, but the similarities are frightening!

"Well," I said to her, "sometimes it's easier to see the numbers if you close your eyes." So she closed her eyes tight and said, "Yeah! That IS easier!"

Crisis averted- for now. I hate to sound dramatic but I really don't want to go down this road again! I guess the good news for Kristen is that Brandon has FORCED us to explore new techniques and find patience when there didn't seem to be any available. Hopefully that will help us guide her down this path with love and understanding.

A pity party and I'm the guest of honour...

I realize that lately I've been feeling a little sorry for myself. I feel as though I have no time for myself and that I'm always at the mercy of others and, more importantly, others' moods... and it's actually all true.... I have very little time to myself and I am responsible for the happiness of 4 kids, a husband and 2 dogs (we have my parents' dog for the winter). Absolutely nothing has changed in my life to bring about these feelings as I've been doing this routine for, oh, almost 17 years.......but the more I think about it, the more I believe that I am trying to "convince" myself that I deserve to go back to school. It's crazy, isn't it?!!? I mean, OF COURSE I deserve to go to school.....everyone deserves to learn and choose a career path! Right????

Now, it's no secret that my career path has taken a few detours and faced some roadblocks. I will forever be amazed by my husband's ability to work at the same company for 15 years....I came to the realization, LONG AGO, that I need a lot of variety in all aspects of my life to feel vibrant and alive. I'm sure that's why I ended up with 4 kids! (well, that and a stud-ly husband!) I really believe that everything happens for a reason and that we are creators of our own destiny by the choices we make...this is particularily good thing for my brother, who fired me in August....and I believe that I was forced to make some tough decisions when he let me go. Decisions about my career, my family, myself.

Decisions that I had been avoiding.

So, for me, 2009 signals the end of my pity party. A party at which I was the guest of honour for the last 4 months; where I drank and ate and complained.

This is the beginning of Joanne.

Willpower? What willpower?

Last night Eric and I went out to dinner with our friends Jay and Mona. We're trying not to socialize around food much anymore, but we have had a couple of dinner dates planned for awhile and this was one of them. And we went to a local Italian restaurant, Al Casale. Which is Italian for OH MY GOD THIS FOOD IS F**KING AMAZING!!!!!!. And of course, there was wine....there's ALWAYS wine.......

So, while I was attempting to apply some of the tips from Dr. Phil's book on weight loss (self-talk, visualization) I found myself drinking red wine and eating lots of cheese and bread. Damn! The food was so good and I lost a bit of control...when dinner was over, everyone started ordering dessert and there was no amount of deep frickin' breathing that could keep me away from the owner's own tiramisu.....it was a religious experience for me. I'm not gonna lie.

So, today I have a bit of "buyer's remorse" and a lot of calories to work off. I have learned a little lesson about myself too....

I cannot be trusted around food.

So, as I clean out our cupboards and attempt to create a "No Fail Environment" I will have time to think about "what my payoff is" for repeating the same eating mistakes again and again. It turns out that willpower doesn't really have anything to do with it. Thank God, 'cause I don't have any willpower!!!!!!

The end of a WONDERFUL holiday....

Today is the last official day of Eric's time off of work. On Monday, he's back at it and not happy about it. Can you blame him? The kids are finally old enough to entertain themselves when they wake up at 6am (Sam). Actually, Sam is getting pretty good at playing quietly in the mornings. The only time he wakes us up is to wipe his ass after his morning bowel movement. That kid is like clockwork but he hasn't yet mastered the art of wiping without smearing his hand in it!

We have had a great week of relaxing balanced with regular daily outings and everyone seems very happy.

Let me tell you, though, I have a month left before I go back to school and I intend to use it wisely. I can't wait for everyone to bugger-off back to work and school so I can a) clean the house properly and b) read. I NEED some quiet!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

In the meantime, I will drive Brandon to his friend's house and I'll try to con one of the kids into babysitting tomorrow night so we can catch up with our friends Jay and Mona........is this frickin' holiday over yet?!!?

Happy New Year!!

Ahhhh! New Year's day again already..... some people think ringing in the new year is a big deal. I'm not really one of them. However, we did share a fabulous evening of dinner and Wii with our friends in Aurora, Rob and Trish.

Emma and Brandon are both still away skiing on separate vacations. It has been heavenly to have our evenings to ourselves and to experience some peace and quiet! I know a lot of parents wouldn't admit this, but I really enjoy whenever the kids are away and I wish they would go away more....which brings me to my New Year's Resolution....it is.......drumroll please!.......

To find more places for my older kids to go more often so we can be alone more!!!!

I know, I know! I'm sure people are thinking that I should make a resolution to lose weight or get more sleep so I'm not such a bitch all the time....but I have found something that makes me truly happy and that is all that matters.

Speaking of losing weight, I am on my way! I've been reading the Dr.Phil books and trying to "get real" about my weight. Let me tell you that the best way to get real about your weight is to step on the damned Wii Fit and have it measure your BODY FAT and take your weight. After it spits out this horrifying information your little avatar blows up into a fat little avatar with a sad face. God!! What an inspiration for weight loss!

Now I will go to the kitchen and eat a healthy snack while dreaming about cookies.