Ugh. Today I totally lost my cool. You know, I used to be a really tough cookie before I met my rock-solid husband. When I was on my own with 2 little kids I was nobody's fool because I didn't have anyone to back me up. But I have softened considerably since I met The One.
Well, today I found that "Old Joanne" and it only took a group of about 8 teenage boys to bring her around.
I was at the school to pick up Emma and Brandon after their exams. They weren't at the regular meeting spot, so I decided to take a cruise over to the convenience store to see if I could find Brandon. And he was there. With a bunch of boys. Smoking. I pulled up beside them and opened my window and said, "BRANDON! Get in the car now." So he put out his smoke and got into the front seat while I yelled at his buddies, "Hey! I heard that smoking kills you!" They kinda just stared at me so I took the opportunity to "cuff" Brandon. As I was turning around to leave the parking lot, one of those little f**kers looked right at me and made a smoking gesture and laughed at me.
Well.
I slammed on the brakes right beside him and put my window down. I was LIVID. I said, "Do you have something to say to me???" and the kid just stood there looking stunned because I'm sure he knew as well as I did that I was ready to get out of the car to "cuff" him too. His friend punched him in the side of the face and said, "No. He has nothing to say." So I drove away.
When we were driving home I had Emma, Sam, Brandon and Brandon's friend Alex in the car. I had previously agreed to take Alex home from the exam. I turned to Brandon and said, "You are not going to Alex's house today. You are going home." To which HE said, "No I'm not. I'm going to Alex's and if you force me to go home I'll just leave."
Well. Well.
So I slammed on the brakes and pulled over to the side of the road. I said, "You have a choice. You can come home with me or get out of this car right NOW and find your own way in this world." So, of course, he came home with me. When we pulled into the driveway I looked at him and said, "Don't ever call me out in front of your friends again. I refuse to lose which means you will never win in those situations." Let's just say that he's spending a lot of time in his room this afternoon.
I am not proud of the fact that I let those boys make me so angry. In my mind I could see myself throwing them down in that dirty parking lot like cigarette butts. But at the same time, I was glad to see some of my past strength resurface! I guess it's not gone....just put away until I really need it. Now- hopefully that strength will quietly carry me through these very trying years as the mother of a troubled teen.
2 comments:
But wasn't it liberating?! Standing up for yourself in a way that makes him check himself? We had a similar situation with our Bran where he completely disrespected not just me in front of one of his friends but Jim (EEK) as well, when we were in the car just after we had picked them up at school. His friend was swiftly taken home, even though a sleepover had been planned that night, and he was grounded and lost XBox/computer privileges. It's definitely one you have to nip in the bud before he thinks he can "get away" with pulling that kind of crap in front of his friends. Good for you!
I loved the "Old Joanne" and was always so proud of how you handled every situation that life dealt you. That "Old Joanne" has never wavered....she's just been building up strength for the storm.
Well handled...with love. xoxo
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