The calm before the storm...

Things here on the homefront have been blissfully quiet lately. It's because Brandon has been at his dad's house for the last 3 days with his best buddy, Alex. Because of all the "dad-drama" leading up to Christmas, Brandon was a bit of a mess on Christmas Day. He was particularily argumentative, picking at his brother and sisters for attention, constantly in-your-face... it sucked for the rest of us, but unfortunately we are used to this behaviour. (We just can't stand it!) I am not looking forward to him coming home, because after being at his dad's house for 4 days, his behaviour is going to be worse. Great.

Here at home, we've enjoyed the disappearance of all our snow. Today, the sun is shining and the birds are singing and it feels like spring...except, the weather man tells us we're getting more of the white sh*t tonight or tomorrow. But- for today- the kids enjoyed jumping on the trampoline!!

As I write this blog, Sam is playing Mario Kart on the Wii and Kristen is standing beside him screaming things like, "SAM!!!! Don't hit the mushroom!" and "SAM!!! You're BIG!! You can go anywhere you want!" and "THERE!! GO!!".....she's the best cheerleader ever!

Today, Eric is at work. But after today, he's taking the rest of the week off and we are planning to take the kids downtown on the subway to go up the CN Tower. I'm sure that after that trip, I'll have lots more to blog about!

The eating/drinking madness has to end.

Like all good things, my eating and drinking has to come to an end. I've had a great time eating my way through the last 4 months and especially over the past week, but things have to change. I feel horrible, I look awful and I'm going back to work at a job where I'll be standing for 8hrs at a time....so, I've got my Dr. Phil books and my Wii fit and treadmill and a changing attitude!

The only problem is that I need to examine why I am such an emotional eater. Every time I'm sad, happy, bored, anxious, etc.... I stuff something in my mouth. So, what now??? Am I supposed to stop eating altogether or stop feeling anything?!!? I'm not sure how that's going to go, but Dr.Phil helped me before so I'm sure he's going to help me again!!

The good news is that Eric's also onboard. He needs my support to lose weight as much as I need his- we have been talking about it a lot lately, and it's nice to have the support of a partner who you can admit EVERYTHING to. Like, just yesterday, Eric went out to grab a couple of coffees and when he came back I blurted, "I ate 6 cookies while you were gone!" and he said, "Oh Jo....I almost, almost stopped to buy a sausage and egg bagel at McDonald's even though I feel like absolute sh*t from all the eating I've done." You can go to all the Weight Watchers meeting in the region and never find THAT kind of support!

I noticed that all the kids have packed on a bit of weight since I've been staying home. I just love to cook and bake!! I suppose I'll have to find a challenge in making low fat food taste just as good as the high-fat, high calorie, high good tasting stuff. I think my focus will change a bit when I go back to school next month and I won't be cooking/baking/eating to fill my time. That will affect the kids and we'll all lose some pounds.

Onward and Upward!!!!!!

Christmas Day and Boxing Day.

Well, I had just finished writing my blog about Christmas and Boxing days when my computer "unexpectedly needed to shut down"...so instead of writing it all over again, I'm just going to post pictures to tell the story...

Merry Christmas Eve!

The gingerbread house has been built, the letters to Santa have been written (the kids are REALLY excited!) and now a snowman is about to grace our front yard.

We are a lucky family. A family built on love and trust and damn hard work...

Let the celebrating begin!

The start of Christmas Vacation.

So, today is the first day of every parents' hell called- Christmas Vacation.

Emma took Kristen to the mall to go "Christmas shopping" but as we were walking out the door she was asking me for money...seems that she's not a great saver and her paycheques don't last as long as she'd like. (ANOTHER great teaching opportunity for Eric and I. Great.) Kristen was so excited to go shopping so I gave her $20. I gave Emma a lecture.

It took us half an hour to navigate our way to the mall through traffic and snowy roads and then about 15 minutes to get close to the mall entrance. I kept quizzing Krissy about what to do if she gets lost, where to go... she was getting really irritated with me...so then I started quizzing Emma. She's a teenager so she knows everything and that can really come in handy when I try to have a discussion with her. Therefore, she doesn't get irritated- she just says over and over again, "I KNOW mom."

Any hoo-ha after we dropped the girls off, Brandon, Sam and I went down to the shop to give the guys some cookies and then to do some grocery shopping. Sam is always excited to go out and he really doesn't care where he's going. But Brandon. Brandon really, really didn't want to come. I told him that Christmas is about family and he needed to come and help his out, so he came and irritated me the entire time....that kid can make noise NO MATTER WHAT. Drum beats on the shopping cart? No problem. Flicking the pen that I'm using to scratch stuff off of my list? Yup. Turning up the radio in the car so I can't concentrate on driving? Uh huh. Noise is not a problem for my son!

So by the time all of my shopping was done it was time to make the snail's pace back to the mall. As Emma and Kristen jumped in the van, I noticed Kristen had her face made up in some makeup that made her look like a child transvestite. I guess they made it to Sephora. But her makeup couldn't hide the huge smile on her face, so it was all worth it.

Now we're home and Sam is watching tv in his winter coat, snow pants, touque and rubber boots.

Sigh.

Tomorrow we'll get up and face this insanity all over again. Except we're going to attempt to build a gingerbread house. I must be CRAZY...

Same old, same old.

You know, I don't talk about my ex-husband very much. There's a couple of reasons for this: 1) I have nothing nice to say about him 2) It's a very, very old story in my life that I've moved waaay beyond and that really holds very few fond memories and 3) I despise the way he treats my kids, therefore, thinking/talking about him conjures up feelings that are unpleasant for me.

But tonight I am needing to vent.

All week Brandon has been excited to go to Steve's house this afternoon. He had a plan that included skiing and snowboarding, hanging out with his dad and coming home on Christmas Eve afternoon. Sadly, he has become cautiously optimistic when it comes to making plans with his dad because it is not unusual for Steve to not show up.

And that's what happened today.

As usual, Brandon tried to get in touch with Steve all day today to make sure he was coming and at what time. As usual, that f**ker wouldn't answer his phone. The more the day wore on, the more frantic the phone calls became. Finally, Brandon phoned Steve's office and had someone track him down. Steve is the general manager of a ski resort near Trenton so I guess he works a lot at this time of the year. Actually, according to Steve, he works ALL THE TIME ALL YEAR LONG and that's why it's so tough for him to see the kids. For the last 6 years or so, they have been very lucky to get 3 visits per year with the Sperm Donor. (Bitter much?!!?)

Anyhow, Brandon FINALLY got Steve on the phone around 4:30 and Steve told him it didn't look good for today. He also said, "We'll see if tomorrow works out, otherwise it'll be after Christmas for sure." Then, Brandon got very antsy and uptight (can't sit still, can't leave the younger kids alone, can't stop eating, can't take "no" for an answer) and understandably so...I tried to talk to him about how it's not his fault, but he insists that he doesn't care, that he expected it to happen anyhow. And we've been down this road countless other times so I'd like to believe him, but I just know that he had hoped that this would be the time that his dad wouldn't let him down. I know that all he wants is to feel loved and wanted by this asshole who has the honour of calling himself a "father".

As far as I'm concerned Brandon's father was sitting at the dinner table with him tonight, speaking to him calmly and understanding what turmoil he has surging inside of him. Brandon's "real" father came into our lives about 8 years ago and never lets him down. Brandon's "real" father continues to be a father even while Brandon tries to push him away for the Sperm Donor's attention. It is clear to everyone who has been a real dad to Brandon.

And one day, Brandon will see who his "real" father is too.

Just shut your mouth and smile. Shut your mouth and smile.....

Being the mom of a teenaged girl is never easy. On any given day I experience a range of emotions from love so deep it knows no depth, to irritation (like tin foil on a filling), to complete and utter disbelief that someone so much younger than me can know everything.

Today, I feel a little bit offended and it's for a very odd reason. You see, Emma and her best friend Gillian dyed their hair last night.

They are both natural redheads like me, and I couldn't believe that they wanted to colour their hair BROWN. Brown. Brown like soil. Don't get me wrong here- I have nothing against brown hair and people who are born with it should stay brunette.... but Emma was born with the MOST BEAUTIFUL auburn hair. You can't recreate it! And she chose to cover it up. And I just don't get it. I worked hard at making that girl and birthing that beautiful red head so I'm taking this a little personally, even though she tells me not to.

I HATE that she makes her own damn choices now. But I'm just going to put a smile on my face and shut the hell up. :)

PS Check out the before and after pics.