It's a P.A Day today.

I have all 4 kids off of school today. One is super-tired, whiny and looking a little sick (Sam), one is super-bored (Kristen), one wants me to drive him and his friends all over and then drop them off for rock climbing for a couple of hours (Brandon) and one had to be picked up in Aurora this morning after a party and she looks a little hung-over (Emma).

I am sooooo looking forward to going back to school and getting back to work.

I swear the school board does this to parents just so we have more compassion for teachers.

Don't ya just LOVE parent-teacher interviews?

Me too. It's where I can go to find out that my kid "doesn't listen well"...REALLY?!!? Because we hadn't noticed that at home!

Apparently Kristen is "in her own little world....because she's so smart". Hmmmm....at home we just call that a reason for a time-out. Or we call it amazing that she has so much in common with Brandon. According to her teacher she's also "very creative...she took all the sparkly sequins from the other kids to decorate her reindeer!" Sooooo, she's creative and selfish? You mean- just like at home???

When Kristen has "circle time" she fidgets with her clothes or plays with her fingers...she really needs to learn how to FOCUS. Her teacher is going to work on that with her this term and I say,"All the power to you! Let me know what happens!"

I'm a little sad for Kristen. You see, she's a very free spirit (emotionally and creatively) and I fear that her spirit is going to be squashed in school. BUT- maybe a free spirit can't really be squashed. Just look at Brandon.

The two little ones...

I realized today that I really don't blog too much about Sam and Krissy. You see, they are still so young and cute that when they do annoying stuff it's just "a stage".

Sam is 4 and he never stops asking questions. I know, I know, it's how they learn about things...but it's annoying if you're the one home with him all day. I'm sure when I'm back to work I'll think back on Sam at this age and be so grateful that I could be the one to answer all his questions. But right now, it's a bit of a headache. But that kid is so lovey-dovey! Loves to give hugs and kisses... he's also crazy for anything with a motor and wheels....a real little boy. He isn't much of a clotheshorse like Kristen, but he does manage to generate his share of laundry. At this moment, he's wearing shorts and one of Krissy's shirts (wtf??). He absolutely refuses to accept that it's winter and he wears shorts and bathing suits all the time.

Kristen is an interesting beast. She is super-smart, an amazing reader .....she is beyond creative. She puts together outfits that would make some street girls envious and she wears everything proudly. She plays the piano and likes to sit and write songs. She hums while she does EVERYTHING. Brush her teeth? Hums. Sits on the toilet? Hums. Feed the dog? Hums. Eat dinner? Hums. It's crazy!! If she finds herself in a bit of a stressful situation the humming gets a little louder....like if she's sitting on the toilet humming and Sam walks in on her she'll hum furiously while she makes fists to punch him with. Oh, that's the other thing about the 2 little ones- they fight like cats and dogs.

Yup, Krissy and Sam are full of personality! But like all of us in this house, they sometimes get lost in the chaos. It's strange because they are usually right in the middle of the chaos at the same time........

Condoms in the bathroom.

Eric and I don't use them. After Sam was born, I had my tubes tied because a) I don't want anymore kids and b) I had to have a cesarean anyhow.

But in an effort to be a responsible, open-minded parent I had a conversation with my kids about sex and protection. This is a very difficult conversation to have with your offspring because there's always the chance that they may ask about your own sexual experiences and I don't wanna go there. I can't figure out why it's easier to talk to them about the drugs I've done or the fact that I found myself poorer than poor with 2 toddlers and no husband, renting a house from the mice....nope, can't figure that out.

Anyhow, I had the conversation about how important it is to protect yourself. I also told them that I would put a package of condoms in their bathroom and if they felt that they (or a friend) might need one then they would be there. I also told them that they are too young for sex and yadda, yadda, yadda....emotions, feelings, blah, blah, blah...........and I also made it clear (more for my own piece of mind) that this was not permission on my part to go out and have sex.

This all happened about 3 weeks ago.

Yesterday, I was in their bathroom and noticed that one of the condoms is missing. Now I'm kicking myself for implementing the "don't ask, don't tell" policy!!! It's kind of like driving past a really bad car accident.....you don't wanna look, but you really kinda want to look.....I don't want to know who took the condom, but I really want to know!! At this point, I'm going to make myself feel better and say that one of Emma's slutty friends took it. LOL!

I guess I have only myself to blame for leaving condoms in the bathroom.

Running gets me high.

When I'm running I experience the greatest high. It's almost meditative, except for the loud music screaming through my noise-cancelling headphones. You see, now that there's snow on the ground, I am reduced to running in the basement on my treadmill. And when you have 4 kids upstairs, the noise-cancelling headphones are a necessary for a peaceful run.

Tonight Emma was at work, Brandon was at Sea Cadets and it was just Eric and I with the little ones. It felt weird to not have all that teen tension in the house for a couple of hours. Weird and Nice!! The whole family dynamic changes as soon as the older kids come home....they are bickering, bitching, eating, eating, eating.....

But I had a run tonight, so I took it all in stride.

So, Eric's office party is in December and we're considering taking a hotel room so we don't have to drive home. Only thing is, the person who will have to stay with the kids is Emma. She's responsible and everything, but she IS a teenager. She is all for it- wants to assert herself as being self-sufficient and reliable. But asking me in jest if she can have 20 friends over to "help" her babysit didn't help her cause. Maybe I'll have to take a run to figure it out.

I love running.

A Friend in Need......

Is a friend indeed.

I know that Karen and Mike are having a really tough time with all this house selling/buying/renting/packing shit. I really, really feel for Karen. Not because they sold their house. Not because they haven't bought a house yet. Not because they are under soooo much pressure right before Christmas.

I feel for Karen because she wants her dad's guidance and he's not here to give it to her.

I can't imagine going through something like that without listening to my dad's advice whether I want to hear it or not! It's kinda funny though, because I probably know what my dad will tell me in any given situation yet I STILL ask for his opinions.

I guess Karen knows that if she wants Merv's guidance, all she really has to do is remember her dad as the wise man he was. Because deep-down she knows exactly what he would tell her to do. All she has to do is remember.

And after that- if she's still not sure what to do- she can always call Jim.

Judge Not.

So, I'm having a really hard time digesting the news that one of Brandon's best friends' parents have placed him in foster care. This is a family that we've known since they started kindergarten together. Now don't get me wrong- it's not like we're friends with this family or anything- but if I ran into his mother at the grocery store we would have a quick chat. And Emma has known his older brother since kindergarten as well.

I've often found it strange that after 12 years of seeing these folks at school functions, I've never met a father. In all the times that I've dropped off and picked up at their house and in all the times Ryan has been to our house, I've never met his father.

But I know that he HAS a father, because just last weekend he was supposed to pick up the boys in Newmarket at 10:30pm after a party but at the last minute he decided not to. So, of course, we got the phonecall from the boys. And, of course, I went and picked them up and let Ryan stay overnight.

I'm really, really trying not to judge.

I am having a hard time, though, because I have seen some pretty tough, shitty times with Brandon. And there were definately times when I didn't think I could carry on with him but it was Eric who made me see the light. That's kinda what parents do, right? One picks up the slack while the other one freaks out and vice versa.....that's why there's 2 parents, right? Maybe that's the problem with Ryan's family. Because from what I can see he's a well-behaved, nice kid who maybe is testing some boundaries. Basically, NORMAL.

I learn something from every one of my kids. From Brandon, I have learned acceptance. I have learned to love that kid even if I don't understand him. And tonight I really see how lucky Brandon is to have us as parents. And you know what? I think Brandon realized that tonight too.