Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Liar, Liar, Pants on Fire.....

I don't know why, but after having 4 kids I am still amazed by the chaos they can cause without really trying. They can turn a simple shopping excursion into absolute purgatory. They can turn a quiet family dinner discussion into a dramatic performance worthy of a frickin' Academy Award. They can ask so many questions that your ears start to bleed.
They can tell a lie.
Most kids lie all the time and we never really notice. A little, "I didn't do it!!" here and a little "I brushed my teeth" there. It's all seeminglyy harmless, right? Well Kristen told a doozy a couple of weeks ago that created an immense amount of chaos which included the police, the Children's Aid and it probably shaved about 10 years off my life.
It all started with a sleepover at her bestest friend's house on a Saturday night a couple of weeks ago. They went out for dinner, went skating and had a sleepover. We've known this little girl and her parents for about 4 years. The girls go back and forth to each other's houses often for playdates. So, on Sunday night I put Kristen in the shower. She's lathering up, doing her thing....then I tell her it's time to wash her hair. As I'm holding the shampoo over her cupped hand she says it. Like this-
"Amanda's dad already washed my hair last night"
Um. Blood swishing in my head.......WHAT?!!? WTF DID MY BABY JUST SAY TO ME???
So, I started asking her questions...when did he give you a shower? What did he wash? How did you feel? And on and on....and SHE sees my interest and she knows that she has to answer my questions. So, after our discussion I say to her, "We have to talk to Amanda's dad or to the police, honey." She freaks out. Full-on crying and pleading, "Please don't tell Amanda's dad! Please, please, please!" So, I am thinking that this monster has touched and then threatened my baby because why else would she be so terrified of him? He is a monster, monster, monster who must be punished!
So Eric and I head into the police station to find out what we should do.
Within 2 hours (on a Sunday) they had a team of Special Investigators, the Children's Aid and interviews were being conducted in a special audio/video room. I interviewed first, then Kristen. (Because she disclosed to me, I was a witness and I could not be told what happened in Kristen's interview.) After a couple of hours with the police, we left and they assured us that Amanda's family would be brought in for questioning next. At this point, they had no idea that this was even going on. So, we had to go on with our lives for a couple of days until the police couldl figure out what they would be charging this asshole with.
After a day of worry, tears and specualation we get the call from the police.
Um. Yeah. Kristen lied about the shower.
She admitted it all when I confronted her and said she was so scared that she would be caught lying that she didn't want us to talk to Amanda's dad because then he would call her out! The entire thing started when Kristen decided she didn't want her hair washed so she made up the lie about Amanda's dad washing her hair the night before. It just started a snowball effect that ended with Amanda's dad having his ass hauled in for questioning!!
The first thing we did was take Kristen straight over to Amanda's house for apologies. It was heartfelt and we were mortified, but her family was really cool about it. I learned something really important from that experience though....
Kristen opens her eyes and mouth really wide when she lies.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

Faking It.

No matter how hard I try, I am starting to realize that I can't please everybody all of the time. It's a very tough lesson to learn (especially for a woman) but it's something that I am trying, trying to pass onto my daughters so they are saved from a lifetime of heartache.
Okay. So maybe I'm being a little dramatic.
I have realized that I don't want my girls to grow up thinking that they have to spend their lifetimes pleasing other people. I mean, we aren't here for all that long are we? Why spend it doing what we think other people think we should do? Why don't we spend our time doing things that feed and nourish our spirits and souls? I guess the biggest challenge to that is figuring out what it is that makes us feel whole and complete.
I am struggling to balance making a paycheque and feeling fulfilled by my career. It's just not happening....but I am not sure that it really does for many women? How am I supposed to pass along the message to my girls if the message is isn't being delivered in full, to me? Sometimes, I feel as lost as my 18 year-old trying to figure out what she wants out of life and I am 39!!
While I am searching the abyss for my career happiness, I will continue to learn my skill and collect my paycheque. And even though I am struggling to find inner peace and tranquility with my own job, I guess I can "fake it 'til I make it" for my girls' sake.