Thursday, November 12, 2009

Just slow down, Jim!!

My dad is an adrenaline junkie- he "retired" to a 100 acre farm with cattle, he's a mechanic and he still dabbles in repairs ("Johnny Cash may be dead, but Jimmy Cash is alive and well!"-Jim Suter), he hunts, he fishes, he still races his mountain bike. Hell, he even takes square-dancing in Florida and makes it a competitive sport!!He's very cool- he introduced me to CCR, dirtbiking and downhill skiing. This is a guy that just won't stop and he's almost 66 years-old....

But in August he had a biking accident that left him unconscious, without memory and a huge headache. Now, he's suffering what seems to be symptoms of an undiagnosed brain injury from that accident. But, true to my dad's youthful spirit, he's still farming and doing manual labour that would make me take Robaxacet for 2 weeks! That guy is unstoppable!! He's admirable, he's wise, he's generous.....I just wish he would slow down. Is that selfish of me? I don't want to banish him to a rocking chair with a pill organizer....I just want him to stop making everything in life a race. But I realize that's not possible for him....he's a competitive spirit no matter what I say or do. AND I love him for that. But it also irritates me. After all, I worry about keeping my dad in one piece while he nurtures his adventurous side.

But when I think about it, I wouldn't know my dad very well without his competitive edge. I guess the secret to my happiness is figuring out how to love him while he lives life the best way he knows first place!

Problem Solved.

My husband tells me that problems are made to be solved. He says that most men are consumed with facing a problem and figuring out a way to make it better. I guess that's why men never seem to be listening! Maybe it's why women think men are the simpler seems very logical and methodical to consider a problem and find the fastest way to solve it. How hard can that be?? For instance, if a man was on his way to work and his car broke down, he may think "Do I have gas? Yes. Is the engine light on? No. Am I pulled off to the side of the road with my hazards on? Yes. I guess I'll call a tow-truck and have this car towed to the shop." If a woman's car broke down she may think, "Why is this happening to me? Did I piss off Judy at work yesterday? Did she put a curse on me? Does God hate me? Is there a God? Why does the car always break down when I have my 4-inch heels on? Do I look desperate sitting here??" It's nobody's fault. It's just the difference between men and women.

Personally, I think problems are made to be learning opportunities. Instead of looking at everything that happens as a singular event to be worked out, I see these instances as a chance to be introspective and to gain wisdom. Whenever I'm faced with a problem, I try to find the solution in an abstract way....if somebody at work snaps at me, I don't see it as their problem and move on. I am more likely to think, "What is her problem? Maybe she's having a hard time at home...I should try to never snap at my co-workers by working extra hard to maintain harmony at home." You see?? Solving a problem AND deciding to be proactive at avoiding another problem....shit!! Women are awesome! We are multi-taskers by nature. We are complex, yes, but if men could just understand that they would quit trying to figure us out all the time.

I admire the logical way my husband thinks just seems so much more simple. Sometimes, women would like things to be a little simpler. And sometimes, we'd like our men to be a little more complex.

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Monday, November 9, 2009

My friend Sam.

I've got a soul-sister.

I don't get to see her as much as I would like, but when we get together it's like a family reunion. She is one of the smartest, coolest women I know and she is so insightful and wise at such a young age. In fact, sometimes when she speaks you might think she is an old soul in a young woman's body because she just makes so much sense. She struggles to find balance in her busy life of marriage, family and career but she does it without apologizing, which I admire so much.

I find it really interesting that I wouldn't know Sam if it weren't for my husband. It's obvious that he and I are meant for each other because he has considered her one of his best friends since high school. Obviously we appreciate the same qualities in a friend and Sam has them all....she never judges if we haven't talked for months because she gets it.....actually she doesn't just get it, she's living it right alongside us. Her family is important to her and they are a beautiful family, living life and planting roots in their town 2 hours away just as we are. Her marriage isn't perfect because she married a wonderful, real man just as I did. She understands that she has made a huge committment for the next 15 years to raise her family the best that she can, but she also understands that she doesn't need to be perfect to do it. So do I. She is an educated woman but she never makes you feel dumb. She places value on being successful in her life, and she includes her family in her's not easy to find that balance, but she just does it.

I admire my soul-sister. I love her. I even model myself after her.

But most of all, I miss her.

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Wordless Wednesday on a Thursday with a few words....

Bulldog Fairy takes down nasty teenager.......

Lists and Blessings...

Well, I've decided to put on my Big Girl panties and be, well, a big girl. I'm taking each day as it comes and trying to be grateful for all that I have. I have a lot and my new outlook is helping me deal with the day-to-day stress I wrote about in my last blog post. So, I have decided to compile a list of the "blessings" in my life. They are as follows:

I have not one, but TWO bulldogs now. I am so lucky that one of them (the baby) shits and pisses on the floor regularily. But at least I have a floor for her to defecate on, right? I swear her bladder is the size of a chickpea because she can't hold it in at all. But I am truly grateful to have her and her screwed-upeyethatissurelygoingtocostusafortunetofix in my life.

I love my kids and they are a constant reminder of the great sex Eric and I used to have. What a joy and a privilege it is for us to put ourselves last for these grateful creatures! Whether it be waking up in the middle of the night to catch the puke or getting up at 5am with Sam to make sure he's not watching soft-core porn on satellite television, it is an honour to give sleep/money/sex/our souls for people that appreciate it soooo much.

Work is a joy that never ends. My job is very rewarding most of the time and I really don't mind working 12 hours straight without a break because some woman I don't know has cracked and bleeding nipples. I feel very happy to contribute to our family's bottom line so we can pay for the lessons and groups that our kids participate in! It's always a great feeling when we can give our 17 year-old (who has a job) money to go and eat dinner at the Keg for her friend's birthday while her friend stands in the doorway waiting to go! I'm sure Emma appreciates my hard efforts at work!

Marrying Eric was the best decision I've ever made. Who else would be willing to work so hard at a relationship under these circumstances? He's a Taurus and he's half-French, half- Italian AND he's so stubborn and pushy that he never gives up on us....I just covet that guy!

I have some really great friends. Unfortunately, I see the girls at the Starbucks drive-thru more than I see most of my friends. It's not really a choice. It's just all the above blessings that prevent me from seeing everyone as much as I'd like. Especially the far-away friends! I wish I could gather all of my girls and put them in the house next door so I could just go over anytime I want!

So, you see, I'm really focussing on the positives in my life. There are so many! Now go and make a list of your own.....