Have you ever had one of those moments where everything in your busy little life seems to stand still and you realize that you are actually playing a large part in what happens to you? That you are not a victim, but more of a....um....driver?
I had one of those moments today. I was cleaning carpets, washing windows, nursing a sick teenager and (sigh) playing referee to the dogs. I ate a plate of nachos with cheese while I sat on my fat ass and watched the View. I also felt the pain in my knee from running yesterday.
In my one little moment, I realized that my life is exactly how I want it to be. If it wasn't, then I would do things differently, right? For example, I want to keep a clean house and I love being a mom (most of the time) so I try hard in my quest to be good at those things. I ate nachos and watched the View because they are both slightly rebellious (hey, some things about me may never change). My knee hurts because I don't get out to run enough to be able to eat nachos without adding stress to my joints. The dogs, well, we all know that the dogs both arrived at moments of boredom in my life. Really, all I can say about that is Thank GOD for Tubal Ligation.
In my small moment today I found clarity. My subconscious self was screaming at me. SCREAMING!
"Your little life is a big eff'n deal. People are counting on you, children are watching you to see how you will react to adversity. Their future families are being developed long before you will be be done raising them."
This is a huge freaking revelation! To think that the way I clean, what I eat, how I exercise, how much I yell at those fricken' dogs is, essentially, determining the quality of life of my future grandchildren?? My GOD! This is huge...this is massive!! And then I heard it. A little, teeny-tiny voice. It was my subconscious' subconscious. And you know what it was saying???
"You need to get back to your career, loser."