Triplets Became Twins:(

Ya know, life is pretty strange. They say that everything happens for a reason and I truly believe it.....it's just hard to see the reason when something bad is happening to you. Recently, we lost one of our beloved bulldog puppies to a congenital illness. It was heart-wrenching for us, because we had become so attached to our little "Sicky" over the 4 weeks she was alive. We knew she wasn't right- we were hand feeding her around the clock and holding her all the time to keep her comfortable. In the back of our minds we knew she wasn't going to be healthy if she lived...but we fell in love with her sweet face and we probably kept her alive longer because we were selfish. In the end, our sweet little Sicky couldn't breathe and couldn't eat so we made the decision to euthanize her:(

This happened a little less than a week ago and the pain is still there. I'm surprised at how much it actually hurt in the end considering we knew, we knew that she was very sick. But we are moving on with the 2 remaining puppies and loving them while they are with us. We are keeping one of them, for sure, and it sure is hard to consider losing another puppy by selling the remaining one....

So all of this reflection still leads me to wonder: why did a helpless little bulldog puppy have to die? What is the reason??

One thing I know about this for sure? We will NEVER raise another litter of bulldog puppies. We are awesome at taking care of them and any litter of puppies would be lucky to be co-raised by our family.....but we are too soft-hearted to accept how fragile life is.

Rest in Peace, Sicky.

Intimate Moments.

Our dog gave birth to triplets last week and it was one of the most intimate moments that my husband and I have had.

Isn't that weird?!!?

I mean, we're not weird people....we realize that Jewel is only a dog. But she has been such a part of our family and we felt such pride and excitement when those puppies were born! As a woman who's had 4 kids I felt, for the first time, the excitement and anxiety that comes with waiting for a birth.

It started a few weeks ago when the local vet did the xrays and said, "I'm sorry. There is nothing on the xray that suggests that Jewel is pregnant. There is a condition called a false pregnancy that some dogs will experience." I left that vet's office in tears. I know my dog and I knew that she was changing, physically and emotionally. But I tried to accept the fact that there was a good chance that she wasn't pregnant.

Until I felt those suckers moving.

It was almost as exciting as when I felt my own children move about in my stomach! It was the confirmation that we needed to continue to nurture our dog and to bring those puppies to term. It was the reason we planned a week of vacation around a c-section. And it was the reason we were so excited when the vet technician brought us a box with 3 brand-spankin'-new girl bulldog puppies. It was as though we knew in our hearts that Jewel was pregnant and technology hadn't quite caught up with it yet.

An entire series of events happened to make our sweet, sweet Jewel give birth to her triplets. And we were so excited and ecstatic to be a part of it that it became a very, very intimate moment for us.

What marriage doesn't need more of those?

Dreams not Lost

So much to report....so little time......

The vet's x-ray reports no babies in our beloved Bulldog's belly at this time. But I refuse to accept! The dog has teats hanging down to "here" and her personality has changed to a sweet, calm bulldog. She has grown a belly and she is unable to walk more than 150 feet, so I refuse to accept the fact that she isn't pregnant. NOT to mention the fact that I am sure I FELT movement in her belly just today! We are taking her to the breeder's vet on Friday, so I am certain that I'll have good news by then. Our breeder assures us that an x-ray is NOT an accurate measure of whether a bulldog is pregnant or not, especially if the pregnancy isn't far enough along. So I am using my Childbirth Nurse instincts to gauge her signs of pregnancy and, I'm sorry, but I KNOW that I felt some movement in her belly today.

We finally went camping this weekend. It was FUN!! My husband did an amazing job on the floor in the trailer and it doesn't smell at all. I am really looking forward to taking the kids to Niagara Falls next week in it! We had Brandon for the weekend and he was a bit of a teenaged-asshole.....found friends, dumped us for friends, didn't see him enough. I guess some of it has to do with his age, but some also has to do with his personality and that is HARD to accept. But I do. When his dad dropped him off at the campsite, he stayed for a beer so that is moving forward!! I was so happy to have the extra 20 minutes with him to talk about BJ and what is going on in his life! I guess that is progression right there, right?!!?

Kristen broke her wrist on Saturday, which really sucked. We spent 4 hrs in the emergency department at Northumberland Hospital in Cobourg on Saturday morning. She was a trooper and when we got back to our campsite, she managed her pain with Tylenol, a cast and a sling. We refused to let it ruin our first camping trip this year. The really suck-y part is that she'll have a cast on for 4-6 weeks.....that just about covers our 2 weeks of holidays in Niagara Falls and Manitoulin Island.....poor Krissy!! In the meantime, we are looking for a device to cover her cast that allows her to swim without getting it wet!

Jewel, My Diamond in the Ruff

Nothing in life is certain. Teenagers may decide to not come home, kids may decide to not behave in public and bulldogs may decide to absorb their babies....WAIT!! WTF?? Absorb their babies?!!? Yup. Apparently, our beloved Jewel could get too hot and decide to absorb her puppies. Just like that! No "morning after pill" or pesky appointments in the Operating Room, just simply absorb. So, we wait. We keep her cool, feed her lots of great fresh raw foods and we wait. And wait.

It's been 2 weeks since we got her back and almost 3 weeks since her first insemination. She puked a couple of times in the first week and was LETHARGIC until yesterday. I mean, lethargic, even for a bulldog! Now, it would seem as though her infection is clearing itself up. I measured her tummy yesterday and it's 1 inch wider than last week, so we are really hoping that this is it!! I'm feeling like a new mom all over again as I watch her nipples get darker! But I don't want to get my hopes up too high just in case. I mean, we've never had a pregnant bulldog before and her expanding girth could be from the increase in raw food, right? So, we wait. And we wonder. And we love her whether she's got a belly full of bullies or not....

Forgive me.....

Forgive me bloggers, for I have sinned.....it's been, well, um....a looooong time since my last post. It's not that I haven't thought about it! It's just been busy. I hate to admit it, but I have been too busy to sit and puke my thoughts out to everyone in cyberspace. Maybe it has something to do with the fact that I've been too busy to put my thoughts into words?? Anyhow, I'm here now and I'm going to try to keep it simple......

Kids are now finished school and my summer glow has officially dulled. Kidding!! I'm happy to have some time to spend with them, but for the first few weeks of July I'm going to be busy WORKING! I'm sad that our annual vacay to Cape Breton is cancelled, but happy to have a job. I'm sure I won't start really complaining about my job until at least September...

Brandon is back at Steve's house after writing his exams. It seems as though he's failed math and science, so he'll have a nice summer of school. We are seriously trying to adjust to this new living arrangement, but it's hard for a control freak like me. I actually have to keep my mouth shut! It's a new concept and it's killing me!! I'm sure that this will all play out in it's own time and whatever happens will happen. I'm not quite as weepy as I was last week, but it's still very tough.

Jewel has been home from the breeder's for 2 weeks and we still don't know if she's preggers. What we do know? She's got an infection....a vaginal infection. Our vet says it's a "raging infection!" but he didn't put her on anything. He just took cultures to see what it is. So I called our breeder who, in turn, called his vet (who specializes in Bulldogs) who said, "Sounds like vulvitis. Unless it becomes epic, she's fine." So, we wait. And we wonder- "is she pregnant or isn't she???" The breeder thinks she is, due to her lethargy. I'm just waiting 42 days until she can have an x-ray to prove it. It has been a very interesting process, and one that is very painful for an impatient woman like me.

So, the last update is regarding Emma. I think she still lives here, but she's NEVER here. She is ALWAYS at her boyfriend's house because his mom is a gourmet cook. She did get a job in the mall at Aeropostale, however, that she is loving. So, I'm not going to bitch about her....it is just very weird to have a family that went from 6 to what feels like 4. I actually feel a bit of the Empty Nest Syndrome and I don't like it! I have lots to keep me busy, so why am I feeling like this??? Maybe it's time to go back to school......

I kid! I kid!!

A little pissed-off with a chance of happiness...

I have 3 weeks off before I start my new job and I'm a little pissed. I would have loved to do some camping before I start to work weekends again, but our trailer has been leaking water for a year and we just realized it. That's right, an entire year. A year of water damage, a year of water leaking into the trailer and rotting out the floor.....so now we are repairing it! Well, Eric is repairing it. I took the kids for a bike ride on the Georgian Trail while Eric scraped, taped and filled the leak! It seems as though he has found the leak, but we're not too sure....we'll find out the next time it rains, I guess. For now, we've got a dehumidifier in it for a few days to suck the moisture out of the floors.

Hopefully, when the trailer is fixed and we've laid a new floor in it, we'll have an opportunity to get out and have some fun. Going to the East coast is out for this year, but we can still do some local camping. Eric and I would LOVE to go out for a weekend alone, just to read and relax. Camping with kids is not so relaxing!!

On another note, we got our cherished bulldog back from the breeder today. We're hoping for a big 'ole litter of puppies on August the 11th! And then we'll be hoping for a litter of bulldog buyers with big 'ole wallets!! The experience has been very interesting so far and it can only get more interesting when the pups are delivered. I guess it's not a horrible thing that we can't go away for a month in our trailer this year because with a pregnant bulldog it might have been a bit tricky. So, we'll stay around the house and do some weekend trips this summer. And I will be working which makes me happy:) Happy, happy, happy!!

Another day, Another adventure.....

Yeah. Another "adventure". The problem is that I am really, really tired of adventure.

I'd like to experience a nice, normal day....is that too much to ask?

Early this morning, at approximately 2am, Sam presented at the side of our bed gasping for air. It seems he developed croup and was in that "Ican'tbreathohmygodI'mfreakingout" stage. So, I jump out of bed and carry him into the bathroom and run the shower for awhile. You see, we've been down this "croup road" before...Kristen and Sam have both had it every year since birth....so we're getting pretty good at dealing with it. At this point, Eric stayed in bed since he's the one who has to drag his ass to work in the morning.

After awhile, I got Sammy set up in front of the tv with a cup of hot chocolate and the Disney Channel and he though it was the greatest thing ever! I started to drag out the humidifier...the only problem was that it had no filter.

So my dear, awesome husband got dresssed and headed to Walmart and Shoppers Drug Mart for supplies...after an hour and some searching, he came home with a new humidifier because he couldn't get a filter at 3am...

In the morning, Sam was tired and cranky and stuggling for breath but otherwise pretty happy. You know who wasn't very happy? Jewel. Poor dog was c-o-n-s-t-i-p-a-t-e-d.....spent the entire morning trying to poo and almost turned her poop-shoot inside out! I felt so sorry for her but I couldn't do anything to make it easier. (Believe me- I've BEEN THERE! If there was something I could have done, I would have!)

Now it's early evening and Sam is still pretty scary sounding and quite sick but I think he's going to be just fine. It's another one of those times that I don't regret going back to school and becoming a nurse, even though I'm still paying off my damned student loan!!

And Jewel has had a couple of successful bowel movements and a bath...I'm going to start giving her some mineral oil with her dinner from now on!

And Eric and I? We're exhausted beyond belief. We'll probably go to sleep tonight and dream about having a nice, normal day....whatever that is.

Great....now the dog's anus is bleeding....

First my dad, now the dog.....what is going on here?!!?

I feel a little for Jewel. She went into heat on the same day I decided to start feeding her a raw diet...so let's just say, her tummy has been a little wonky. BUT- her fur is sooooo soft!!

I went to our local butcher and they have pre-ground, pre-packaged raw food which includes chicken, livers, bones, and a few veggies. Jewel loves dinner time now! The only problem is the bleeding I noticed this morning as she strained to take a poo-poo. Now, Jewel straining to take a poo is really no big deal; she IS, afterall, a BULLDOG....they strain just to breathe. But when I saw the blood trickling out (WHAT?!!? SHE HAS NO TAIL- I COULDN'T HELP BUT NOTICE!!!), I realized she has a little issue.

Unlike my dad, though, she doesn't seem otherwise unwell....she lays around the same as she did before. And my dad is all better now, so I think I'll just wait it out and see what else comes out of Jewel's anus over the next few days...

Runaway Dog

Did I mention that Jewel ran (waddled) away last night? Yeah, I was in the driveway paying the animal control lady for her yearly dog tag and Kristen left the front door wide open. Jewel waddled around the house and took in a tour of the neighbourhood!

Here's the thing- I didn't even notice she was gone! Eric came home from work a half hour later and said, "Where's the dog?"... after searching the entire house Eric and Brandon went outside and found her right next door. I felt like such a mess! I couldn't even keep the dog in the house and she doesn't move fast...she's kind of like a fat, wheezing sausage with legs...

Anyhow, I got that sick-to-my-stomach feeling when we realized she was gone. And then relief washed over me when she walked into the house wheezing and drooling! Jewel My Diamond in the Rough was safe and sound!!!!!